Please, let me fuck your mom
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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