I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
