New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
