Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize