He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
