she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
