I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
