I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
