If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
