u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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