She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
