I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
