My hand turned me down
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
