I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My life is pants optional.
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