I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
