If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
