Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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