a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
