We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize