Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
