it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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