it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
