Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
