Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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