No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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