Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
