he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
