he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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