I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
