His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize