As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
