And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
