He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
