this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize