I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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