She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
