Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize