at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
