I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
