Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
