I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
do herpes really smell.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
