I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
