Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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