I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
two words...techno handjob
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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