he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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