I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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