Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
