the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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