Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The adults are the big ones right?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize