dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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