would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
