I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
