We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
