doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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