whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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