I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
