You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
