i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am one with the molecules
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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