One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just want nice things and good sex
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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