No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to calm my uterus...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
