This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
