whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The best revenge is premature balding
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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