remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
