check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
