But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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