Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
