WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize