Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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