it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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