Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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